She is in my trunk
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
