i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
