Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
