so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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