I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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