I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
