the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
