the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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