Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
