I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
