im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize