I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
