with your own penis?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you had me at cake vodka
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
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