Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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