it's too hot outside to masturbate.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
