HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
