We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And then my night got REAL pukey
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
