My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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