See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
