What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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