we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
