I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
