Already got asked if we're dating
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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