I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i've created a new STD.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
