Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
