Whod you bang
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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