My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
