if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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