a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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