I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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