absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
