i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Your penis caused this!
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