Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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