Just fell off a train. Bad.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
