I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize