OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize