Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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