According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
