I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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