if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
