i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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