She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
