if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
