You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
