I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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