I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
