Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize