yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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