so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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