Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
