My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
