we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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