every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
