im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
