All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
