just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
