He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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