apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i believe in u and ur pee
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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