If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
